Retirement is not a word in our vocabulary
My name is Val Surbey. My husband Vince and I have 11 children between us...yours, mine and ours.
After our son Tyler passed away in 1989 at birth, we adopted four boys with disabilities. Three have Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and one has Down syndrome. They grew up so quickly. Our oldest adopted son, Christopher died in June of 2005 at the age of 17. Ryan and Timothy are now 21 (not twins but two months apart), and Preston is 20.
We were always considered a bit shy on the sensible side by our families as we continued to add to our own little group instead of looking to a retirement. Vince taught phys ed for years, the last ones being in middle school. I still work within the education system supporting students with disabilities.
Raising these boys has been anything but dull. They have taken us on a journey of a lifetime that we wouldn't have missed for the world. Apart from the constant learning process we have gone through in terms of services, education, employment, etc., the group of close and permanent friends we have had the pleasure to meet over the years has been something we would never change.
Our son Ryan, was predicted by the medical people to never be able to walk or talk. In fact they didn't give us much hope that he would live past a year. Well, he's now 21, attending university and studying psychology and was featured in a series of articles in the Winnipeg Free Press on FASD.
Timothy is living at home, has just finished school, and we are working towards some type of supported employment for him.
Preston is living in supported living, I have become his substitute decision maker with Ryan as my alternate, and we will be setting up programs for him. In the meantime, his staff, who are very active, have been honouring my requests to take him to the gym, embark on long bike rides, and are living up to the challenge of working with him when he becomes rather volatile.
Retirement is not a word in our vocabulary. I don't think we will ever be retired. Vince suffered a massive stroke four years ago, and is in a personal care medicaly facility. He is able to communicate and is still very much involved in what the boys are doing.
I keep promising myself that one day I will write a book. Not yet, but one day.